


The imPractical Parchment Prank

by foolishness



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Rigel Black Chronicles - murkyblumatter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Gen, Rigel Black Chronicles Masquerade 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29151732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolishness/pseuds/foolishness
Summary: Magic only exists in books… right?Letters to Harry get delivered to the wrong universe.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39
Collections: Rigel Black Chronicles Masquerade 2021





	The imPractical Parchment Prank

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2021 RBC Masquerade event. 
> 
> RBC characters exist in a nonmagical England and the HP universe (with different characters) is only a popular fantasy series.

The first time Harriet Potter found one of the letters, she was certain it was a joke. Someone must have linked her cousin’s family history of astronomical names to the famous fantasy series that people would _not stop talking about_. Reading over the letter for the second time, Harry reflected that if she were going to get an invitation to Hogwarts, it would have already arrived. 

She would never admit it, but Harry loved those books so much she half-expected a letter to arrive on her eleventh birthday. As much as she would have loved to be whisked away to a boarding school for wizards and witches and to discover a hidden, magical version of London: it simply wasn’t realistic. The lack of any owl-delivered message had certainly confirmed that. Instead, she was a few months into an accelerated learning program and she had bigger issues.

But the letter was so confusing. Harry pushed aside her homework. Tracing her fingers over the neatly inked letters, she admired the velvety feel of the parchment. It looked real, even a little aged with edges slightly worn as if it had been stashed in the bottom of a bag for a while. The prank just didn’t make any sense. She wouldn’t put it past Archie or their family friends to something so complicated, but parchment had to be expensive and she couldn’t wrap her head around the point of it at all.

It was addressed to the wrong person, to start. It was from Sirius and Remus to her best friend--basically her cousin--Archie, asking about his time at Hogwarts. Whoever wrote it was close enough to their family to know everyone’s nicknames, that Archie wanted to become a doctor, and the name of one of his schoolmates. But so much was off about it. Archie as a Slytherin? That was hilarious. The writing matched her uncle and Remus’ way of speaking almost exactly. Cutting off that train of thought, Harry let the parchment curl back up and rolled it to the other side of her desk. Whatever the prank was, she wasn’t going to dignify it with a response, much less obsess over it. She had more important things to do. Harry pulled her homework closer and started reading once more, only occasionally glancing at the rolled-up bit of parchment.

_But how did someone drop it through a second floor window?_

Harry found herself staring out said window, deep in thought with her pen stilled on paper. “No.” She told herself as she stood and held the letter over the bin, trying to convince herself to throw it away. But it was such nice paper. Harry frowned at the letter, before dropping it in a drawer of her desk and sliding it shut with a sense of finality.

***

Her cousin was currently sprawled on her floor doing homework. Ever since school started, the two had fallen into the habit of studying together. Today they were working in Harry’s room. In the end, she decided to ignore the weird prank. If anything, Archie was probably in on it, and Harry was not going to think about it any longer. Head propped up in her hand, she flipped another page in the book she was reading and tried not to fall asleep.

Archie looked up at her. “Eraser?” He asked. Harry pointed to her desk, too busy reading to find the words. Archie grunted and stood to retrieve it. She heard the drawer slide open followed by a moment of silence. Glancing over from her bed, she remembered with a sinking feeling where she had stashed the letter.

“What’s this, your invitation to Hogwarts?” Archie chuckled, holding it up. “Never would’ve thought you’d be into collecting _stationary_.” Before Harry could leap up to snatch it back he was already reading.

“What.” He said.

“I can-” She cut herself off. She couldn’t explain.

 _“What.”_ Archie’s brow furrowed. “Have you been stealing my mail?”

“It’s not what it looks like?”

“It looks like,” He began slowly, eyes still roaming the page, “A really terrible prank. Parchment, really?”

Harry felt defensive, despite herself. “It’s not my prank, _I_ was the one pranked. I think.”

“That’s weird.” He walked over and sank onto the ground beside her bed. “This is dad’s handwriting.” She shifted towards the edge of the bed and peered over his shoulder. “It’s so odd, right! If he did write it, why bother getting fancy paper and ink? Why send it to me?”

“It’s gotta be him.” Archie shrugged. “To torture you maybe,” He grinned, “Looks like it’s working, too. What did you do to him?” He rolled the letter back up and returned it to Harry. “Nothing!” She insisted, scowling. “You’re not in on it?”

Archie shook his head. “I’ve never touched a quill before in my life. Besides, if I were going to prank you, you’d know it was me.”

“You think it was written with a quill?” Harry asked, rolling it open and studying it once more.

She could almost hear Archie roll his eyes. “Whatever. Tell me if you get another one.”

That was the end of it, or so Harry thought. 

***

That was not the end of it, Harry would soon find. The letters seemed to fall out of the sky. She would run into them at the same time every morning, no matter where she happened to be. She found them on the doorstep, just inside a window at school, even one seemingly discarded in some bushes on her way out of the house. Either she had a stalker or a very dedicated pranker. The content of the letters varied. Some contained vague responses in regards to an invitation or a cryptic list of what looked like homework measured in _inches_. What a ridiculous metric. Archie seemed to think the attention to detail was hilarious.

She felt deeply betrayed when a letter came from Archie… for Archie, but it was addressed to his middle name. It was incredibly confusing. She was going to get to the bottom of it. Harry stormed into Archie’s house later that day.

“Hello--Harry?” Sirius was doing something in the kitchen. She didn’t stop to greet him.

“Arcturus _Rigel_ Black, you have lied for the last time.” She declared, throwing open the door to his room.

“I didn’t do it!” Archie swiveled around in his chair to face the door. “Wait…” 

“Sorry, what did I not do?” He asked.

Harry had been through enough. She threw the most recent letter at him. One benefit of parchment, she noted with grim satisfaction, was its relatively high density compared to paper: perfect for a projectile. It bounced off his head.

“Ow!” Archie complained out of reflex, she was sure.

“You git. _Never seen a quill before in my life_ , please. Explain this then!”

Archie unrolled the parchment and started reading. He frowned. His brows twitched in confusion with his head tilted, before frowning again. Harry might’ve found it funny were it not for the current situation.

“I've never seen this before in my life. But it does sound like me, doesn’t it?”

“It sure does.” Archie caught Harry’s eye and immediately protested. “This prank is very intricate and I’d love to take credit for it, but I can’t.” He glanced back down over the paper. “It probably wasn’t my dad either. We don’t have anything like this in the house.”

“Who wrote it then?” Harry huffed out an annoyed breath, “It’s so detailed. If it’s not you or Sirius that doesn’t leave many people.”

“What about James? Or Remus?” He asked.

Harry shook her head, “Asked my dad, and Remus isn’t exactly the letter-writing-as-a-prank type.” Archie nodded, still reading it over.

“Who’s this Hermione Granger? Maybe she knows something...” Archie trailed off.

“You don’t know? Maybe another one of your schoolmates.” She glared at him, still not totally convinced he wasn’t involved.

He shrugged helplessly. “It wasn’t me. Why have you so worked up about this anyway?”

Harry opened her mouth then closed it again. Why _did_ the letters bother her so much?

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “It just seems so real. I know that it’s not! But... I want to know who wrote these and why.” 

It was then that Sirius called Archie down to eat. “Stay for dinner.” _We’ll talk more_ , his voice seemed to say. Harry nodded and followed him out of his room. “Will Harry be joining us?” Sirius called from the kitchen. Her mind was still reeling. Archie had to answer for her. If it wasn’t him or Sirius or someone else in the family, then who sent the letters? If it wasn’t a prank then…

“I think I might have a stalker.” Harry paled considerably and slumped down into a chair at the table. Thinking back over the last year or so, it was the only reasonable explanation. Unfamiliar tendrils of fear unfurled in her stomach as she sat and stared at a knot in the wood beneath her fingertips.

“Hey now, hold on.” Archie sat down beside her, voice serious. 

“You said the letters all arrive about the same time, right? Let’s watch for them. If someone’s delivering them, we’ll see who it is.” 

“What if it is a stalker?”

He thought for a moment. “Somewhere public then, with lots of people. How about a park? On the weekend?”

Before Harry could respond, Sirius entered precariously balancing plates. “Dinner is served!” He announced. She and Archie made eye contact, and she nodded subtly

***

They met at a park between their houses on Saturday morning. Harry was nervous despite herself. “Maybe we should have told someone after all,” Archie said as they walked along a meandering path. They had a relatively clear line of sight, and a few other people were out walking and jogging. “No, it’s fine. As you said, it’s probably not anyone dangerous.” The crisp morning air and Archie’s presence made her feel more at ease. “We’ll find out soon at least.”

“What time did you say it usually happens?”

“Just after nine.” She replied. “It should-”

Harry turned and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw a rolled piece of parchment sitting innocuously on the grass a few feet away. She didn’t see where it had come from, exactly, but there were no buildings or trees nearby for a person to hide. _“Archie.”_

He turned and did a double-take before glancing around wildly. “There’s no one… This doesn’t make any sense.” Harry saw her own confusion mirrored in his face. “I-” Archie cut himself off. He was quiet for a long time. “What does it say?” He asked, sounding a little afraid.

Harry stooped to retrieve the letter. It looked the same as all the others, only with Archie’s name written in ominous red ink on the outside. She untied and unrolled it quickly. “It’s addressed to me.” Harry let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “It says it’s urgent.” She paused, brows furrowed.

“What else?” Archie sounded as disconcerted as she felt.

“That I’ve been injured.” Harry continued.

“Now you’re being threatened!” He exclaimed, glancing around as if there might be someone he could fight.

“I don’t think that’s it.” With each subsequent letter, things were beginning to make less and less sense. What was going on? There didn’t seem to be a _person_ responsible for the prank. It didn’t seem like a prank at all anymore.

“Can I see it?” Archie asked. After Harry nodded, he gently took the parchment from her hands and began reading.

She suddenly felt as though someone might be watching her. Glancing up, Harry’s wide eyes met yellow ones. A speckled brown owl stared at her from a tree on the other side of the park. It was sitting completely still, watching her from its perch. She was reminded of the books that she used to love. Letters delivered by owl.

There was no other explanation… Maybe magic was real.


End file.
